one year

May 13, 2013

crazily enough, edith has been on this earth (outside my womb) for a full year now. we celebrated her birthday for 3 full days basically last weekend. it can be kind of hard to let a baby know that a given day is special. as far as i can tell, edith thinks every day is pretty awesome so i worked hard to give her actual birthday a little ump (special food, minimal diaper changes) and her grandparents spoiled her rotten for the two days following. she ate birthday cake and ice cream sprinkle-by-sprinkle and was applauded for everything she did by a large audience of family and friends. by monday morning, she seemed suspicious of my lack of enthusiasm and cake.

people often tell new moms “it goes by so fast – enjoy every minute!” and to them, i usually want to say “screw you! do you know how long these days seem sometimes??” but last week i was getting all mushy and emotional and saying to nearly anyone who even looked at us “it goes by so fast!”

a lot happens in this first year. mark and i often marvel at what a blob edith was this time last year. it sometimes seems amazing that we loved her much at all, crying and needy and thankless as she was. it was like she was cryogenically frozen – no personality, limited mobility. and yet, there were all these glimpses of her future self, in the faces she made, the sources of her frustration, the general calm demeanor that settled upon her around week 3.

now shes an (almost) toddling toddler, saying words, copying everything, dancing with abandon, playing with books, showing love, trying to eat anything she touches. it is pretty incredible.

i know that her first few weeks of life were rough. really rough. but in retrospect, those days seem light and airy, like blinking in the warm sun after emerging from darkness. the whole of her life seems sweet, IS sweet, really sweet. it makes no sense and perfect sense that you can love someone this much.

anyway, i rattle on. i’ve had a happy year of life-sharing with edie-o and look forward to the joy, the grime, the smiles, the vomit, the shrieks of delight, the screams of frustration of all the years to come.


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