the TRUTH about snowflakes

December 29, 2010

“In this kind of cold, it is hard to imagine that we will ever be warm again, as though a little genetic amnesia trap had been designed by nature to make us work for the spring to come—to make us plant bulbs and wrap bushes with burlap and light Yule logs and sacrifice virgins, whatever it takes.”

i don’t know why, but i simply love this little article about snowflakes. perhaps this is because the winter season has so far seemed rather mild (or maybe i’ve spent so little time out in it). but i guess a good appreciation of the snow is apropos in months like this when that desperate yearning for spring begins to start making noise in our hearts. whatever it is, it is worth a read:


hustle & bustle

December 29, 2010

so, where were we?

oh yeah, i was doing lots of stuff and promising to write more yadda yadda.

well, that didn’t happen. i just about got rolled over by the holidays, spending the better part of the afternoon today staring at the calendar wondering and bewildered about what exactly i did a week and a half ago. for the life of me i still can’t really remember. the past month has been a series of blurs with clarified peaks of births and birth-related activities scattered here and there.

i’ve now been to two births and bit my nails nervously while another proceeded without me. the whole thing really is rather drug-like: wild and intense when caught in the throes of it, sustained euphoria and fatigue for the days after it that gently melts into a sort of peace that THEN subtly takes the form of obnoxious desire to return to the wildness and intensity. as the first 2 births happened about a week apart, i found myself tapping my toe impatiently on the 3rd one well before their actual due date. unfortunately, some complications with that meant that i was unable to accompany the couple, which was a bit of a let down – for me because i had been excited and more importantly for the couple, whose birth plans took a pretty major turn (though ended well with a beautiful and healthy baby, rest assured). all of this transpired on christmas eve, the upside of which being that i was able to sure my melancholic mood by gushing over mark’s cousin’s teenage girlfriend’s (got that?) recent birth story, the details of which she was very excited to share and i was very excited to receive.  and, of course, the ‘reason for the season’ remained very palpable throughout the weekend’s events as i waited for the good words from the new family and remained appreciative of my own.

sunday we celebrated my great golden birthday (yes, yes, 26 on the 26th…dear Lord, i feel old). i bought my dad a waffle iron for christmas both because he inexplicably wanted one so badly and also because it highly increased my chances of getting birthday waffles. which i did, after watching my dad (whose kitchen resume is limited to spagetti, cans of soup, and cereal but whose mechanical resume is unsurpassed) wrestle between what the manual said should happen and what food actually does.  my family then went snoe-shoeing (spelling?) at the local arboretum which was absolutely fabulous, minus the one rather brutal snow fight between my sister and i. all these festivities coupled with the fact that, like some sort of unnatural zombie force, my mother and all my aunts were sick and STILL cooking for us all weekend meant that i got hit by one nasty cold by sunday night. really, i felt like after i got the call releasing me from the 3rd birth, my immune system shrugged its shoulders, gave up and died on me. it did its job fending off germs for the majority of the month and for that it should be thanked. but i was one hot mess on monday. i faintly remember dragging myself out of bed for a mid-afternoon meeting and then drugging and dressing myself for birthday drinks with friends but….geez. it certainly was no way to spend a day off of work.

and so here we are today. midweek between christmas and new years, me still sniffling but still filling the days with family and friends and looking forward to a hopefully peaceful weekend and new start to the coming year. i’m going to aim to be more regular, dare i say resolute, in posting in the new year. with the pace of the days, i need to pin down what’s going on in my head. i know i had some epiphanies on the bus last week…now i’m having trouble remembering what they were. perhaps that says something about their level of importance….or maybe about the mania of my life.

at any rate, merry belated christmases or holidays to you and yours.

and cheers to a very new year.

greeting the season

December 8, 2010

suffice it to say that life has been totally ape-shit bonkers as of late. like really-really. i’ve quite literally barely been home for the last few weeks, sustaining myself on very little sleep, fueled by birth-hormones-by-proxy and, well, not much else.

but, ah, life still is good.

i dragged my weary self to mass at lunch the other day and realized with great shock that its advent! i mean, i should have known, i did know (good Lord, i was at mass just a week ago) but somehow in the hustle and bustle i forgot what was happening liturgically and, thus, metaphysically speaking.

i’ve been so caught up waiting for babies, learning about babies, being with babies, and then waiting for more babies that i forgot about the most epic of all babies whose birth we celebrate this season.


(the child, not the expression).

ah, how i hope my anticipation for and relations with these local mothers might somehow inform and enhance my anticipation for and relations with our Holy Mother and her Son this season. may the season, with all of its fillings, not swallow me alive. amen, amen.