yo quiero

October 28, 2010

today is ‘frustrate your computer!’ day.

or so it seems. i feel like all i’ve done today is piss this silly machine off. i don’t blame it. i don’t feel like working either.

something about this transition to cooler weather puts me in hibernation mode. all i want to do is go home and sleep. but life has – so far – maintained its quick pace and i watch the days (and weeks and – could it be? – months) ahead begin to overflow with intended activities. my problem really is that i want a lot. that is to say, there is a lot that i want to do that i am doing and a lot that i want to do that i don’t possibly have time for. and i also want to sleep. and eat really delicious things that take a long time to cook. i want to clear the schedule ahead entirely so that i can fill it up differently, like some sort of fickle painter. i want to be prolific (in any form possible). i want, i want, i want.

i also want to spend some time with my spouse. that would be nice. he’s been in extreme bookworm mode for a few weeks now and while i know i should be supportive of the fact that he is so committed to his education i also just want to hang out.  

all this wanting does not mean that my life is lacking in any capacity (well, it’s lacking in infinite hours, i suppose). friendships, ideas, projects, inspiration, ambitions, plans are overabundant at the moment and this is a good thing, to be sure. i can’t complain of a wasteland. i guess what i need is to be more clear in my objectives, more intentional with my time, more articulate in my goals, and more thoughtful in my choices. i need to stop being so damn absentminded and lazy.

it will be an interesting few months ahead. i’ve got some concrete new challenges and opportunities to prepare for and, well, a hell of a lot to learn. there is some intentional vagueness here, yes. i’m sure i’ll feel more comfortable blabbing to the blogosphere once the anxiety and anticipation morph into concrete (or explorative) experience. until then i’ve got some nail bitin’ and book readin’ and tea drinkin’ and question askin’ to do.


vocational aspirations

October 21, 2010

after hearing about the death of tom bosley the other day, i was reminded of the man’s crowning achievement in his television career – being the voice of david the gnome – my favorite TV show as a child. one thing led to another in the boredom of the afternoon and i found myself on the David the Gnome IMDB site whereupon i had a revelation – i want to be david the gnome:

“David is a wise and friendly gnome doctor that can sure both physical and psychological injuries. With his beloved wife, Lisa, and his fox, Swift, he lives in the forest hidden from human eyes, living to help the most defenseless. His fame as a doctor and his wisdom cause the gnomes of the entire world to get him to solve their problems. With Swift, David travels helping everyone. He creates peace between the gnomes, he heals injured animals and fights against the trolls – horrible and stupid creatures that enjoy causing animals and gnomes to suffer. As the trolls also have issues with the Humans, David must also help them too. In this way, David must be constantly alert to avoid to be captured by trolls and defeat them before they cause irreparable damage.”

what they fail to mention, but what i personally remember, is david’s assistance with a variety of mammalian births.

so, seriously. this basically sums up my aims. helping the defenseless and warding off trolls, metaphorically speaking.

so, is that job up for grabs?

bits & pieces

October 14, 2010

in refering my dear friend to my blog today i realized that it pretty much looks like i’ve given up on things here.


i think i need to stop trying to be so epic and get ‘real’ [does it make it real if i say ‘real’?]. stop aiming for mammoth updates and just relax a little.

that said, i’ll simply say:

+ someone put a painted pumpkin head on the edge of my desk today (painted, yes, not carved. employ your imagination as to the degree of hideous this thing is). i don’t think i appreciate it. i think it’s only increasing the amount of time i hallucinate a person standing in the doorway.

+ i’m writing lots of haikus. i’ve somehow aggrandized the haiku and my personal need to write them. i don’t quite know why.

+ we grew some really mutant carrots. i’m pretty distressed about them, mostly because i’m not sure what this does to my relationship to root vegetables. i don’t really want to talk about it.

+ i just finished a novel by my favorite radio personality that read like a complicated collage. i think that makes it very modern? it gives me courage to offer my life in snippets like this rather than aiming for any coherent whole or overriding narrative.

and thus we have a very ordinary glimpse.

well, once again it’s been awhile. work has picked up in the form of overwhelmingly miniscule tasks and i’ve not quite found the intellectual energy to write too much.

so here’s another attempted update of the high highs and low lows of this wild life of mine 🙂

we’ll start a few weekends back when we had mark’s mom, her boyfriend, our dear pittsburgh friends all in town at once. through a series of coincidences, it really wasn’t as overwhelming as i had originally thought (read: we didn’t have everyone sleeping on our floor each night) and we actually spent delightful, thoughtful, quality time with all parties involved while also somehow nabbing a few hours of ‘date’ time out on the town for ourselves. miraculous!

yes, everything went incredibly well, bar one little glitch: we certainly totaled my sister’s car. but in order to minimize the impact of this glitch, i prefer to embed it within the larger narrative structure of me really having to pee on saturday night.

after a long day of wandering the lake shore and city streets with our dear pittsburgher, kim, we had attended a show at another friend’s gallery and gotten drinks at the local pub. my sister had graciously loaned us her car in order to make the long trek down to hyde park and back up to andersonville for church the next morning. by the time we were heading home, it was about 1:30am and i, having consumed a gluttonous 2 beers in 3 hours time, really had to pee. mark told me to just wait until we got home – after all we were riding in this glorious time machine of a vehicle which shaves a whole hour off of our commute. we’d be home in no time.

well, we are driving down lake shore drive, literally chatting about how great it would be to own a car when we approach the ‘S’ curve in the road and see that a car has spun out of control and hit the median. as we and everyone else slow down to get past the accident, we suddenly feel a huge jolt from behind as my sister’s CDs are tossed like confetti throughout the car. some…i will say…idiot had come around the curve at full speed, rear ended us and then drove away. yeah. hit and run.

while we are both kind of reeling from what just happened, a new sort of terror emerges as we realize our car is in the middle of lake shore, unable to move, while others cars zoom by us at full speed from around that stupid curve. mark tries to call the police but they keep telling us that ‘the 900 south block of lake shore’ is not a valid address that their system recognizes. luckily, this is downtown chicago and swarms of cop cars start to collect relatively soon thereafter. a million of them ask us if we are ok (and we respond ‘yes!’ because we just got hit really hard, the car is destroyed and we are NOT dead or bleeding). firemen come up with scary instruments intended (i hope) for the car and not us. its a whole big to-do.

and i still have to pee really bad. like really bad. like scheming-for-a-decent-way-to-pee-on-lake-shore-drive-in-the-midst-of-all-these-emergency-lights bad.

we answer the same rounds of questions again and again. eventually they put us in the back of one of those SUV squad cars (which, it turns out is an incredibly uncomfortable place – little plastic half-seats with awkward seat belts, all caged in) where we watch the tow truck guy try to get the smashed car onto the bed from several different angles. eventually it works and then even more eventually the tow truck pulls away and our squad car follows. the cops don’t really talk to us anymore, having already acquired the necessary paperwork, licenses, and general information that they need. moreover, the driver-cop is busy TEXTING on his CELL PHONE the whole time he is driving. i still have to pee.

we follow the tow truck down to the underbelly of the city, lower than lower wacker, we’re talking lower randolph…a wasteland of a place. after winding around, the cops stop at a dead end and we all watch the tow truck carry my sister’s car into some dark lot. and then the lady cop turns and asks, “well, do you want us to drop you off here?”


at this point, i do my best to smother my general frustration and anger that a simple 15 minute ride home is not somehow part of police proceedure when your car gets smashed. i, of course, still have bigger fish to fry: i need to pee.

so i explain very passionately to the cops my conundrum. and they say, ‘well, we’re in the middle of nowhere here. what should we do?’. they offer to take me to their station up on division. this won’t do. ‘maybe a restaurant?’ they ask. sure.

and here comes the coolest part of the story, which is that the driver-cop – still texting of course – peals out, flips on the emergency lights and siren, and starts speeding through the streets to get me to a bathroom. we ran red lights all through downtown, the tires squealing with every turn, and we arrive at our glorious destination – rock ‘n roll mcdonald’s – in no time at all. it was pretty awesome. literally the safest i felt all night. they unload us, the driver-cop still texting as he hands over our paperwork and tells us to get home safe.

anyways, thats pretty much where the coolness of the story ends. i get to pee – which is triumphant in its own right –  at rock ‘n roll mcdonalds, almost knocking over a stoned prostitute in my rush to the ladies room. when i get out, i realize how utterly terrifying the 3am rock ‘n roll mcdonald’s crowd, a mangled mess of prostitutes, the homeless, and really drunk people of every socioeconomic status possible.  mark considers all this and declines my offer to buy him a big mac before we pay for one really expensive cab ride home.